What if the 3 wise men weren’t really all that wise? What if they were just 3 ordinary guys, avoiding conflicts at home, who happened upon the greatest story ever told? Set the entire story in modern day America, sprinkle in a little redneck humor, and you have the smash A Good Old Fashioned Redneck Country Christmas! Bill, Dave, and Jimmy have had it with their women! Even though it’s Christmas Eve, the boys decide to high-tail it into the mountains for a little hunting and a lot of beer. Meanwhile back home, their women are furious. Lou runs Lou’s Diner. She and Bill and have been trying (unsuccessfully) to have a baby. Barbie Jo, Lou’s head waitress, is married to Dave, and Darlene, the most beautiful girl in three counties is dating Jimmy, but Jimmy can’t stand the idea of “commitment”. It’s gonna take a Christmas miracle to get these redneck families back together! Thank goodness one just came to town!
auditions
October 22, 2018
6:30 p.m.
characters to be cast
LOU (LOUISE) WEXLER - a bubbling bundle of energy; married to Bill, owns a diner; mid-30s, attractive, intelligent, and well-respected; energetic hospitality personified; speaks with a slight southern drawl which is warm and welcoming, never hillbilly harsh.
BILL WEXLER - retired marine, served in the First gulf War; married to Lou, owns a trail guiding business; mid-to-late-30s, taller than the other men and wears his hair in a typical military style; has an air of authority that is impossible to miss; doesn't take orders from the boys, but his philosophy concerning women is generally to do as Lou says.
DAVE FOX - a typical married father of two, husband of Barbie Jo; in his 30s, a butcher; speaks with a southern drawl; painfully average in looks and intelligence, but has cultivated a great sense of humor to compensate; loves his wife and children, but finds his mother-in-law occasionally just too much to deal with.
BARBIE JO FOX - the beleaguered wife of Dave and daughter of Verna Belle, mother of two children; attractive but frazzled; works fulltime at the diner; tries to make everybody happy and speaks with a warm, southern accent.
JIMMY WEAVER - considers himself the "lady's man" in town; mid-20s, cute, and charming; not terribly smart, a real down-home farm boy; dating Darlene but wary of commitment; speaks with a distinct southern drawl.
DARLENE FULMER - early 20s, blonde, and "built;" wears short skits and tight sweaters, a typical rodeo queen; accepts everything at face value and makes up in heart what she lacks in smarts; loves everything to do with Christmas and just wants to make the world a better place; speaks with a typical southern drawl.
BOB/NARRATOR - a truck driver in his 50s or 60s, as well as a "road warrior / philosopher;" formerly a high school English teacher; a husband and father; sees every obstacle as a new challenge and an opportunity to observe people; may speak with or without drawl.
MARY SUE ARCHER - late teens to early 20s; arrives in town on the evening bus with only a satchel at her side; pregnant, with long dark hair and a southern drawl; alone in the world and used to being ignored; believes in the inherent goodness in people.
MARK RILEY - 20; first-year medical student and only son of the town doctor; young, thin, and not quite handsome; has never dated but has a secret crush on Darlene; speaks with subtle southern drawl.
CHARLIE REYNOLDS - 30s to 60s; the town banker; a quick walk-on role to get things going; an old friend of Lou; possibly doubled with Jimmy or Dave
BILL WEXLER - retired marine, served in the First gulf War; married to Lou, owns a trail guiding business; mid-to-late-30s, taller than the other men and wears his hair in a typical military style; has an air of authority that is impossible to miss; doesn't take orders from the boys, but his philosophy concerning women is generally to do as Lou says.
DAVE FOX - a typical married father of two, husband of Barbie Jo; in his 30s, a butcher; speaks with a southern drawl; painfully average in looks and intelligence, but has cultivated a great sense of humor to compensate; loves his wife and children, but finds his mother-in-law occasionally just too much to deal with.
BARBIE JO FOX - the beleaguered wife of Dave and daughter of Verna Belle, mother of two children; attractive but frazzled; works fulltime at the diner; tries to make everybody happy and speaks with a warm, southern accent.
JIMMY WEAVER - considers himself the "lady's man" in town; mid-20s, cute, and charming; not terribly smart, a real down-home farm boy; dating Darlene but wary of commitment; speaks with a distinct southern drawl.
DARLENE FULMER - early 20s, blonde, and "built;" wears short skits and tight sweaters, a typical rodeo queen; accepts everything at face value and makes up in heart what she lacks in smarts; loves everything to do with Christmas and just wants to make the world a better place; speaks with a typical southern drawl.
BOB/NARRATOR - a truck driver in his 50s or 60s, as well as a "road warrior / philosopher;" formerly a high school English teacher; a husband and father; sees every obstacle as a new challenge and an opportunity to observe people; may speak with or without drawl.
MARY SUE ARCHER - late teens to early 20s; arrives in town on the evening bus with only a satchel at her side; pregnant, with long dark hair and a southern drawl; alone in the world and used to being ignored; believes in the inherent goodness in people.
MARK RILEY - 20; first-year medical student and only son of the town doctor; young, thin, and not quite handsome; has never dated but has a secret crush on Darlene; speaks with subtle southern drawl.
CHARLIE REYNOLDS - 30s to 60s; the town banker; a quick walk-on role to get things going; an old friend of Lou; possibly doubled with Jimmy or Dave